Tickets purchased, nostalgia on max, theme song on repeat… alas with such things I am ready to go see Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen tomorrow night. I was unabashedly absurd this past week, fretting over minute details of where and when to watch Transformers. It’s not like I have been looking forward with a countdown to this day for the past four months or anything like that.
The IMAX’s here just will not suffice. They are the ‘fake’ kind, the cheaply franchised-off quality kind. The McDonald’s of real hamburgers so to speak. The three incarnations of IMAX around the Toronto area are pathetic by true standards, they are far from the staple 75′ screen and perplexingly massive sized auditoriums that signify the worthyness of an IMAX. Even worse is the fact that they are almost bedroom sized compared to the 60′ regular ‘large’ auditoriums found around town. They present the illusion of an ‘IMAX’ by slamming you face first in to a screen which then simply only appears to be large, since you are literally close enough to stick your tongue out and lick the display.True IMAX’s are a sight to behold while their cheap rip off digital incarnations are thoroughly head ache inducing and a waste of time.
I digress as usual, I am very nervous about seeing Transformers. I know it is “just a movie”, but I am just a sucker so some of you may understand why I am quite emotionally attached to fretting hither and dither about such things. First I needed to ensure that this movie going experience would be perfect, as someone who is quite obsessive compulsive, so I called up theaters before hand to find out which showtimes of Transformers were digital and in the biggest auditorium. Check and check, 10.40pm Silver City Oakville Digital Auditorium#6.
I am nervous because early whispers and murmurings around the internet have not been so positive, a tomatometer below 40% with some generally unfavorable comments does not bode well. Then again Star Trek was reveling at 96% and was certainly nothing too special at all. I can’t imagine how they can go wrong, Michael Bay had a brilliantly awe-inspiring formula locked down in the first one and so the sequel could only be bigger and better right?
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Something that concerns me is that the first movie had a ‘wow’ factor, it was just stunning seeing such brilliant and awe inspiring special effects. It was beyond surreal, realistic in the sense that looking at trucks on the road hoping they could transform in to a gigantic robot was almost plausible… just because it was so well done in the movie. Beyond that the movie was really charming as well, genuinely funny moments kept the movie moving along nicely in the non-destructive sequences. A possible pitfall for Transformers 2 could result from an attempt at a darker and more sombre tone. We shall see.
All I know is that as a kid, Soundwave and the the robotic panther that came out of his chest called Ravage were my heroes. Megatron’s cannon was completely bad ass, Ultra Magnus and Rodimus Prime were fantastically cool characters. Seeing either one of those two Autobots appear in this movie would honestly make it a 10/10 for me immediately. Also, I will be quite displeased if Soundwave does not have his iconic echoey voice… something akin to the Kanye-West-esque Jazz from the first movie will be quite aggrevating. There’s a lot in this movie, two hours and thirty minutes of a lot, fourty six total robot characters kind of a lot. So the question is, when is too much of a good thing a bad thing?
Look at me, dilly dallying about some silly movie with robots from another galaxy trying to take over the world, whilst there is complete political turmoil in Iran. Whilst the Pakistan army is engaging in a full scale war with the Taleban, whom have brought their senseless and dick-less suicide expeditions to the cities and civilians. Whilst half of Canada is paranoid about a flu becoming a pandemic. Whilst football clubs are spending $130 Million dollars to buy a single human being is hardly a big deal… and countries like Zimbabwe getting $2 Million in food, water and aid is a big deal. Whilst countries in the Middle East spend $2 on making one barrel of crude oil, and then sell it for $75 for a 3750% profit margin.
This is why.