Toon’s Review: The Hurt Locker – 9/10

Every now and then, you see these films that leave a lasting impression on you. Either it’s a devastating scene, a memorable song or maybe a powerful line that you will forever remember. ‘The Hurt Locker’ contains spades of each, Katheryn  Bigelow’s direction produces some of the finest most raw moments in film I have seen in a long time.’The Hurt Locker’ is simply an exceptional film, worthy of contemplation over the scenes of war it portrays.

Believe those quotations.

This film stretches a brief period of time in the Iraq war, following three members of an elite bomb squad through their motions. Literally a day by day renunciation of these soldiers, we see them experience such catastrophe, such pure warfare and the toll it takes on their minds. This movie though, is just so much more than that. Every character, acted brilliantly, directed brilliantly, faces so many challenges every day and never has it been captured so authentically.

I love how real this film feels, the sound direction is epic and so poignant, every bullet carries so much weight. The explosions are captured with such a phenomenal intensity, the almost too real writing of this film added a level of suspense you barely see in films anymore. Simply, it’s a great movie experience when the fate of every character is questionable as every minute passes. I can’t begin to commend how well Jeremy Renner, Anthony Mackie and Brian Geraghty carry the three lead roles.

This film, it doesn’t try to be dramatic by throwing a melodramatic story out there. A villain that must be caught, a dame that must be rescued or a mission that is imperative to the success of the war. In fact, there really is no story, no bad guy to catch and no heart stopping epic battle to save the war. This film, all it is, is a set of situations, exposure to experiences that change and grow the character of our protagonists. Through this, I feel this film captures one of the most brilliant renditions of war on film. It’s a series of skirmishes, especially this war, this urban war that has taken over Iraq, there is no one bad guy, there is no one key that will turn the tide of the war, it is the definition of ongoing, it has taken its toll, dare I say millions, of lives, and its not going to end.

Although I do have one significant criticism, I’ll say that this film only conveys the evil on one side of the war, whereas a film like ‘The Kingdom’ was just fantastic in showing a sense of wrong on both sides. But for what it is, a capture of war, this film, it will put you in awe of the power man’s weapons’ possess, and it will show you what war will do to a man, and it will make you feel a genuine sense of pain for what’s happening out there.

Such brilliant cinematography


Toon’s Review: Why I Refuse to Review ‘Inglourious Basterds’

Funny how I just sat down at Second Cup, and opened up my little laptop to connect to the internet, only to find a wireless network named “All Hail Bear Jew”. Thank you, fellow, for helping me illustrate the point I soon intend to make, hopefully well. Just a disclaimer notice, the man who acts as Jew Bear, Eli Roth, is the mind behind the film ‘Hostel’. Please do look this up… and I do sincerely apologize before-hand for making you see what that movie is about but I’m positive it will also help illustrate my feelings.

I don't want to write a caption.

I really do honestly and purely dislike Quentin Tarantino, from his arrogant movies to his publicity pictures showing him cross-dressing. And if my negative tint is not clear, yes, I do think cross-disgusting is despicable. I’m suppose to be a movie guy, so let me tell you quickly why I have not liked a single Tarantino film. All his films, they are a stage for something he wishes to express. ‘Kill Bill’ was a vehicle for sexuality and acrobatic violence, I’m sure it was derived from his lust of seeing the Matrix do combat so beautifully. He wanted to put his own twisted twist on it, result was those two colloquial pieces of garbage. ‘Pulp Fiction’ was a total hodge podge of incoherent gangster fest, a vehicle for a bunch of actors to play a bunch of over the top characters. ‘Grindhouse’, another prose of just unimaginable amounts of gore and sexuality. Utter stupidity in motion.

So, I approached Inglourious Basterds tentatively. I heard good things, so I was excited at the prospect of enjoying this film. Tarantino is a talented filmmaker, I won’t deny that, but his arrogance is so blatantly obvious and I simply can’t tolerate it. ‘Basterds’ was enjoyable at times, and it was very enjoyable for the parts Christoph Waltz was on screen as the bloody brilliant ‘Jew Hunter’. Great acting, and great character. Until the end,when he decided to suddenly act completely out of character so the Jews could have the ending to World War II that they wanted. Then it struck me, the whole movie, all the characters, all the situations, everything was set up completely for Nazi Bashing. Jew boasting Nazi bashing.

No doubt, the Nazi Bashing was obvious from the get go, the ‘Jew Bear’ hammering in the skull of a Nazi Sergeant elevated my fears that this film was nothing but the Jews stoking their retribution. Nothing but the collective hearts of Jews everywhere screaming with blood drenched fists as they themselves beat the skull of a Nazi in to paste. Surprisingly, the movie lulled on from there with these wonderful characters in a Paris cinema, there stories told patiently, enjoyably and wonderfully scripted… dotted with sublime moments of Christoph Waltz. It was all for nothing however, the movie at its end, dwindled from logic, and became clearly the mind of the Jew Bear himself…

I’d love to know why Hitler was guarded by a wooden door with two typically idiotic soldiers behind him, and not an army of elite soldiers as all forms of logic would suggest… *so we can easily and dramatically get to him so the Jew Bear can machine gun a crowd of movie watchers, then turn to Hitler and pepper him with bullets and show his body be ripped apart by bullets, cross the camera back to Jew Bear and watch him scream and explode with the blood of a million Jews boiling through his veins! Oh bravo! Bravo yee Jewish glory! Oh wonderful revenge! Oh blood oh blood!*

Expect a similar response by such inclined people, to why Christoph Waltz’ incredibly intelligent character made an absurd deal with the king of all Nazi torturers. My dog would’ve guessed that Aldo was not going to honour the deal, and I don’t even have a dog.

‘Inglourious Basterds’ is a great movie that is unbelievably stupid and arrogant. Many great characters were ruined by ridiculous levels of unnecessary violence and complete voids of logic, all this to serve Nazi Bashing by Jew Bears. I don’t give a shit what warrants the allowance of such obvious arrogant trepidations. *We have the right to do what ever the hell we want after what the Nazis did to us*. A comment, which I guarantee has been taken hold of in many more places other than on film. Maybe someone should make a film about a band of pagans, that go on a trip of retribution, slaughtering all the crusaders on their way to the Vatican, where they slam Pope Urban II to his knees and slit his throat. Could be a good storyline for ‘Robin Hood’ reboot.

Right at the end, it all came together to complete this experience… As Brad Pitt uttered Tarantino’s words “You know, this just might be my masterpiece”. You arrogant cross-dressing prick.

Toon’s Review: Fantastic Mr. Fox – 9/10

I just want to whistle, snap my tongue and click my fingers and wink at every concoction of creation I see. What a fantastic little story this was. Witty to the bone, cute to the hip and sharp as a cucumber, there is no iota of excellence this movie doesn’t touch upon. First and foremost I must commend the wonderful piece of Roald Dahl literature that this little film is based on, it is one of his many great little stories from ‘The BFG’ to ‘Matilda’ and ‘Charlie and the Chocolate Factory’. In essence, like many of his books, ‘Fantastic Mr. Fox’ is a naturalistic story about wild animals with civilities and struggles, needs and wants surrounded in a story of disaster and heroism. Dotted with such wonderful characters from a subtly cross dressing and misunderstood child-fox to the politest possum and a badger lawyer with profound expertise with explosives. This above all else makes this movie and story about a Fantastic Mr.Fox who just wants to steal some chickens, all so simple and enjoyable.

Wonderful little people, the lot of 'em.

The soundtrack is wonderfully eclectic, upbeat and comedic to get the viewer involved in every dashing situation. Excellent is Wes Anderson’s direction and creativity, to bring these stop-motion fur-filled little toys to life and with such heartfelt charisma and talent. I am sure the amazing voice acting of George Clooney, Bill Murray and Meryl Streep certainly contributed, none the less it was just surprisingly well made stuff all round.

I am just astounded with compliments for this movie, it’s one of those things you know, you don’t really expect anything at all, only to come out on the other side so genuinely enlightened and amused. Gah, what a wonderful experience, I want to rewind to 10:00 pm with my wonderful little dinner on my table and press play on this wonderful little film again with all these little animals and their delinquent little hand motions and silly little whistles and finger clicks and honestly laden insults and dashingly descriptive smiles. You’re suppose to be *my* lab partner. I am! No you’re not, you’re disloyal.

The too polite possum Kylie and Mr. Fox

Toon’s Review: The Brothers Bloom – 7/10

Adrien Brody, Rachel Weisz and Mark Ruffalo

Charming and beautiful at times, such wonder in the smiles of our characters, the wit of their lines and grandeur of the locations ‘The Brothers Bloom’ takes us.

It is a typical yet out of focus con story, not told well very well but shown brilliantly. Just amazing acting combined with genuine and bright characters, peppered with a wonderful soundtrack and classic film making almost led this piece of film to perfection. However, like many con stories, it dwindled in its own complexity, losing the characters to juxtaposition rather than the bond that made them all so entertaining in tandem. Leaving the ending to be a sigh of understanding, rather than the smile of a great finish.

Toon’s Review: (500) Days of Summer – 7/10

This really isn’t a movie review, because this really wasn’t a movie. It’s going to be very disjointed, and ultimately inconsequential, quite like this movie. The days of our lives are inconsequential, but put them through seasons and it becomes a journey. One to the next, our leaves leave us, snow and darkness covers us, rain cleanses us and then the sun finally revives us. Or you could live in Dubai and spend everyday praying the sun shines a little less hot and it rains for bloody once.

(500) Days of Summer starring Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Zooey Deschanel

(500) Days of Summer is at times a wonderful movie, it’s not wholesome in any way, nor is it a love story, as the narrator aptly warns his audience before the film begins. What it is though, is a story about the little things, a culmination of moments, that serves to remind how unique people can be. We may not like them, we may be different and not sympathize with them, but that’s exactly it. We are who we are, and what we experience, lose and gain will never change who we are, it will only provide the sustenance of mood to our soul. People who believe in love at first sight will always believe that, people looking for the one will always believe that, people who live for the moment forever will, live for the moment. I believe Summer will fall out of love unsatisfied, and I believe Tom will idealize Autumn as his true love, and will continue to do so till one sticks. This is my perception of either of those things.

In it’s moments, ‘Han Solo’ reflection to Tom’s impeccable walk and sketch down the boulevard of broken dreams, this film is a treat for the eye. I approve of Marc Webb’s direction, the ‘Spiderman’ franchise will be in capable hands. The sounds are equally wonderful, aptly saddening and heart warming music trembles along the side of this film. As a journey though, this film is disjointed by its structure and unideal due to its characters. They were acted brilliantly, but they themselves, the people, the people are just so lost. So unbalanced, and at the end of everything they have gained and lost, they learn nothing about life. Learn that life is a journey, and not about the little moments. That you shouldn’t have to sleep with a woman to have a skip in your step the next day. That you shouldn’t play with someone’s heart when it means nothing to you. That you shouldn’t lose yourself in anger to the behest of others. That you should make do with all the little things life throws at you, because at the end of the day, life is so much bigger than just 500 days.

Toon’s Review: Vicky Christina Barcelona – 5/10

I was enjoying the movie whilst I was watching, yet as it approached its incandescent conclusion, I felt a slight dissatisfaction. As if, the experience was somewhat a waste of my time, as if on the other side of it I am none the brighter or further enlightened in life.Vicky is a sensible woman about to get married and looking forward to the stability she has wanted all her life, Christina is the opposite of her best friend Vicky, and knows what she doesn’t want in life. They come to Barcelona and meet Juan Antonio, with such an exciting name how could the man not be so bloody exciting and all things Spanish and artsy and out-there. The movie goes through paces, of people falling in and out of lust, people not wanting what they want, people getting what they want, but at the end none of them get what they want, and the movie ends with nobody learning anything what so ever.

So, seemingly this movie was like a relationship, that started off exciting with all parties engaged on some common purpose of finding love and satisfaction all in one, or two. Yet after all was said and done, and the sensibilities and correctness of living a survivable life hit Vicky and Christina. Soon enough, we, like them, could not wait to be done with Barcelona. Go ahead and watch the interesting ride of Vicky Christina Barcelona, if you are a Christina. If  you are a Vicky, don’t bother.

Vicky and Christina

Mr. Barcelona

Toon’s Blu-Ray Review: Green Lantern First Flight – 9/10

“I want to grow up and be just as awesome as Hal Jordan”

I am at a loss for words. Although I can’t really speak on behalf of all those unfamiliar with the DC Comics lore, for those of you that are, you will absolutely love this film. ‘Green Lantern: First Flight’ is an animated film that is a direct to Blu-Ray/DVD release, much in the same vein as ‘Wonder Woman’, ‘Gotham Knight’ and ‘Justice League: New Frontier’ before it. Unlike the previous three, DC Comics has finally hit the mark with this film. This is the most fantastic and possibly iconic representation of Green Lantern on screen, and one that should take precedence as a reference in any future films. It is a science fiction epic, with great animation, spot on voice acting and an immense soundtrack. All those amazing Geoff Johns comic books finally have a voice to go with its characters, and a bad ass new Green Lantern theme song to play over and over in my head.

Hal Jordan, bad ass.

Hal Jordan, bad ass.

So, the story… The Green Lantern Corps is a collection of wise and powerful individuals from across the universe, each bestowed with a ring through which they can channel their will power in to a force. The Green Lanterns are selected and watched over by a race of immortals, known as The Guardians, who have existed since the beginning of time at the center of the universe. ‘Green Lantern: First Flight’ picks up the story of the most famous human Green Lantern, named Hal Jordan. Read the rest of this entry »