MOVIES

Usually, I come under spite, fire and arrow once such and such person see the “score” I give a movie. Judgment is passed upon this fellow even before such and such read the points I make! Unfair Watson, very unfair but alas such is the manner of this world. In which case what lies below is a shooting gallery of verbal derogatory that any of you are welcome to hammer upon me, since some of these “scores” are outlandish by conventional standards (10 brownie points for finding Godfather on the list). I have yet to write a point in case to back up most of my critical choices but I surely will once violent feedback comes my way in the comments section below 🙂

10/10:

Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring
Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King
V For Vendetta
Watchmen: Director’s Cut

9.5/10:

Matrix
Speed Racer

Transformers

9/10:

Ocean’s Eleven
Jurassic Park
Spiderman 2
Pan’s Labyrinth
Constantine
Watchmen
Matrix Reloaded
In Bruges
Seabiscuit
The Thin Red Line
Green Lantern: First Flight
Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers
Fantastic Mr.Fox
Back to the Future 2

8.5/10

Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels
Back to the Future 1
Collateral
Zoolander
Batman Begins
Galaxy Quest
Tropic Thunder
Sherlock Holmes

8/10:

Saving Private Ryan
Peter Seller’s Pink Panther
Finding Neverland
The Fall
Generation Kill
The Dark Knight

Catch Me If You Can
Moon
The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford
King Kong
Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy
Matchstick Men
Cloverfield
Signs
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
District 9
Back to the Future 3
Death at a Funeral
Pitch Black

7.5/10:

3:10 to Yuma

Bridge to Terabithia
Casino Royale
Confessions of a Dangerous Mind
I Am Legend
Layer Cake
Life Is Beautiful (Foreign Film – Italy)
Mission Impossible
O Brother Where Art Thou
Remember the Titans
Snatch
Spy Game
The Hangover
The Greatest Game Ever Played
Toy Story

The Terminal
The Bourne Identity
War of the Worlds

7/10:

(500) Days of Summer
Blood Diamond
Children of Men
Face-Off
Forgetting Sarah Marshall
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
Knowing
Matrix Revolution
Minority Report
The Departed
The Illusionist
The Kingdom

The Replacements
The Incredible Hulk
The Terminal
The Brothers Bloom
The Bourne Supremacy
Titanic
TMNT
Underworld
Valkyrie

WALL-E

6.5/10:

The Bourne Ultimatum
Iron Man
The Aviator
Memento
The Ring
Syriana
I Robot
Rock n’ Rolla
Mission Impossible: 3

6/10:

Borat
Taken
The Prestige
Star Trek
Spiderman 3
Contact
Broken Arrow
The Village
Unbreakable

5/10:

Terminator Salvation
We Are Marshall
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
Dark City
The Wrestler
Death Race
Avatar
Vicky Christina Barcelona

4/10:

There Will Be Blood
X-Men
Welcome to Collinwood
Hellboy 2
Awake
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone
Underworld Evolution
Underworld: Rise of the Lycans
Equilibrium
G.I. Joe
Toy Story 2
Ninja Assasin
Live Free or Die Hard

3/10:

 

Superman Returns
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

Traitor

2/10:

Battle: LA
Funny People

Knocked Up
The Day After Tomorrow
Wanted
X-Men Origins: Wolverine
Mission Impossible: 2

1/10:

Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith
Aeon Flux

0/10:

Godfather

Yes it does get worse…

-1/10:

Vantage Point
Lady in the Water
X3: The Last Stand

-2/10:

SAW
Paul Walker
Hayden Christensen
Twilight

19 Responses to “MOVIES”

  1. Yoga Says:

    Wow Haroon not only am I disappointed that you gave the Godfather 0/10, I’m also in awe that you gave Transformers (a mediocre movie at best) a 9.5. I would love to get into the specifics about how the in depth story and character development of the Godfather easily trumps the poor acting and oversaturation of special effects in Transformers. However, having read your previous reviews, you seem to have a much more comprehensive knowledge of movie critiquing then I ever will so I would rather not challenge you. Nonetheless, in the words of Fei Long YOUUUUU LOOOSSSSSSSSSST.

    Sorry man I couldn’t help but cut down one of your favourite movies. I just came to check out the site and maybe get under your skin a little bit. Anyways, site looks great buddy keep up the good work.

    P.S. Transformers 2 if going to be balls.

  2. toonstar Says:

    🙂 Love you bro

    I’ll be watching Godfather again soon, and giving my opinion as to why it sucks ass.

    Transformers 2 🙂 Midnight show baby!

  3. Moe Says:

    Godfather 2 is the best one. 1 gets boring and 3 is pathetic. Watch it.

  4. g_house Says:

    even your own reference, rotten tomatoes, has god father at 100% and imbd 9.1/10… what does this say about your scoring? seems too skewed to be taken seriously…your star wars rating doesn’t help much either. tsk tsk

  5. toonstar Says:

    Review/Opinion piece for Godfather has been much requested, and it is incoming by end of next week. We shall see whether I stand corrected, if i was wrong then I will admit it.

    Rotten T’s is not my reference, it just shows a consensus… the peoples’ tomato and the critics’ tomato, both are interesting to look at but do not affect my opinion. Speed Racer is such an example of the contrary, while Pan’s Labyrinth and Spiderman 2 are examples where the tomatometer is agreeable to my feelings.

    Star Wars is just gay. Just my opinion. I should undress it as well after I am done with Godfather.

  6. g_house Says:

    did you just say you’re going to “undress” it? … i don’t think the movie is the one that you should be labelling gay.

  7. toonstar Says:

    Poor choice of words there, I called ‘Star Wars’ gay then stated I wish to ‘undress’ it 😐 Apologies.

    As per: https://toonstar.wordpress.com/2009/07/13/a-public-apology-for-deriding-star-wars/

    I will be reviewing ‘Star Wars’ start to finish soon, but I’m sure I won’t be swayed, if not more aggravated by the downright disgusting Hayden Panettiere, I mean Christensen… The cringing dialogue and repetitive never-ending light stick duels. This “saga” is extremely silly, and most of the time that was okay since it was bravely adventurous and I admit very enjoyable at times. But when it came to the crescendo of the Anakin-Darth Vader story line, George Lucas ineptness to create any kind of emotion was glaringly magnified and then some thanks to downright despicable acting by Hayden. Considering that this is basically the central part of a story spanning six movies, having it fail in such a horrible way is simply inexcusable.

    Compared to the flawless ‘Lord of the Rings’, in every aspect possible, ‘Star Wars’ is trash.

  8. SRK Says:

    man the fact that u rated godfather 0/10 shows how u dont know how to rate movies. i mean ud rate a gay ass flick like speed racer over the godfather…HAHAHAHAHA! thats ridiculous! cant take ure ratings seriously dude, jus cant! and batman begins over dark knight??!?! u gotta be kidding me dude!! jus cuz emphasis wasnt on the batman n the joker stole the spotlgiht doesnt mean u under rate it! the dark knight was by far the most unique batman film ever made! and the joker made it what it is..simple!

  9. SRK Says:

    and why is the departed not on ure list? how cud u forget to rate such an awesome movie?? u had the time to rate a pathetic movie like lady in the water and u missed the departed? whats up with u dude?? u need to get ure act together!

    • toonstar Says:

      I thought Departed was an entertaining movie with an absurd and utterly weak and dramatically zealous ending. I didn’t rate it because I am going to watch it again and restudy my thoughts on it.

      I am not asking you to take my “ratings seriously dude”, it is my opinion and I express it as I see fit. You choose to disagree with whatever you wish, but please have a reason to do so rather than just saying “u gotta be kidding me dude” or stating that I am wrong because so and so is “such an awesome movie”.

      I am sorry, the film is called ‘The Dark Knight’ last I checked, by all forms of constitution that makes the movie about Batman.

      Considering what an absurd piece of acting Christian Bale put in just speaks volumes of how brilliant Heath Ledger and Aaron Eckhart were in their respective roles, of course you would know this if you bothered to read my review in the first place. If you did read it and still make that point, then I advise you to seek further education in life.

  10. SRK Says:

    u jus cant accept some facts of life dude! its not about seeking more education, its about appreciating a great movie, something which u, by ALL MEANS, lack! maybe one day ull get there!
    enjoy!

    • toonstar Says:

      “maybe one day ull get there!”

      I am quite fine right here, thanks. Great counter argument again, as usual. I just don’t even know what I could possibly say to your “facts of life dude”.

    • Bandigo Shatmoosin Says:

      you are an absolute pillock! what facts of life? its a movie review not plato’s republic. the influence it has on life is minimal, but for some simple people like yourself, leanardo dicaprio shooting another guy hits a little too close to home.

      how can someone appreciate someone else’s opinion? especially someone like you who’s vernacular is made up of the word “dude”.

      i wish you’d even counter with half decent movies, movies that have made a mark, but you come up with the departed? which by all means was pretty good, but this is the movie that you’ve based the world of cinema entertainment around? bloody hell.

      and i’d like to know this art of movie rating that you’re preaching about. maybe you can share it with us.

      PS. haroon, speed racer is fucking shit.

  11. Bandigo Shatmoosin Says:

    my comment was to SRK btw.

    • toonstar Says:

      Thanks for that Bandigo. Yeah I agree that Speed Racer is pretty f-ing s*** movie; but only to anyone who, pardon the expression, is too cool for school. It doesn’t have much semblance of a film that would please any kind of rational, forward thinking, adult and boisterously manly mind that orgasms at the thought of being as “badass” as ‘The Godfather’ or the rudimentary morons in ‘The Departed’. Why did I give it 9.5/10?

      If you read my review… ( https://toonstar.wordpress.com/2009/05/31/speed-racer/ )… then you might understand where I am coming from. It was from the outset a PG movie and was there fore completely intended for very young minds with their constitutional elder guardians along for the ride. With that in mind I sat down at the theater and just enjoyed a brilliantly family friendly and thoroughly groundbreaking film that you just do not see anymore. It had genuinely nice characters that were all about upholding honest family values and friendships. It was a polite, funny, genuine, entertaining and cool movie for the kids and their adults in all the right ways.

      In this day and age, specially once you have seen the insulting debacle on humanity which was ‘Transformers 2’, you will appreciate how as an elder sibling or parent… you would much rather have your kids influenced by the good guys in ‘Speed Racer’ rather than the sex-obsessed racially maligned monstrosities in ‘Transformers 2’. That’s the only point I wish to express, and is of course just my opinion. I absolutely loved ‘Speed Racer’.

  12. SRK Says:

    DUDEEEEE, why the hell are u getting worked up MR.BANDIGO!!??!? if ure a friend of TOON then id appreciate u back him up somewhere else, like in a physical fight or something, not on his freakin WEBSITE!! how absurd!!! im pretty sure toon is capable enough of speaking for himself when someone criticizes his work. he doesnt need a BANDIGO to jump into a random argument!
    please keep ure comments to ureself n mind ure own business! i wrote something i didnt like, whats ure prob?? and i clearly wrote to TOON, NOT YOU! like i said, defend ure friend where it matters, not on a website where THOUSANDS of ppl have different views on different movies. tell ure friend to limit the website to jus you and him so u guys can keep defending each other and live happily ever after.
    its a website where he rates movies n write whatever HE wishes…the COMMENT section is for OTHERS to express theyre views about what HE wrote or what they thought of the movie in general, NOT stick up fer the creator of the site! grow up son!

    and u think im preaching? how is it eh? is me calling the GODFATHER is a freakin classic which deserves more recognition preaching?? is me saying the dark knight was spectacular and better than batman begins preaching?? is me saying the departed shud have been on toons list cuz it was a movie worth rating preaching?? I DONT THINK SO!! what the hell is wrong with u man?! seems to me that u MR.BANDIGO are the absolute pillock!
    this is not preaching DUDE, its simply stating the obvious, something u are not quite familiar with.

    and i dont need to freaking counter anything. if i see a movie and thought it was good, ill jus say it was good! if TOON thought it was bad, ill simply disagree like i have above! i dont need to prove shit to u or anyone man. im not running a damn website, im jus commenting son! stop being a pain in the ass and stick to ure own business please! u can baby sit ure boy somewhere else!

    p.s. i didnt see u countering why speed racer was crap! i believe if i go up i will see u commenting saying it was FUCKING SHIT! WOW! u really seem to have won over ure argument eh?!
    ill try it ure way…haroon, the departed was FUCKING AWESOME!!! that shud do the trick, right?

  13. Bandigo Shatmoosin Says:

    look first of all id appreciate if you left my culture out of it. deriding my name is just unnecessary and downright insulting.

    why are you talking about fighting? how old are you? im not backing him up, i dont really care what you two say to each other. i just read your over excited comment, your incessant use of random capital letters, and your limited understanding of what an opinion means and thought let me just chime in with my 2 cents.

    no one wants to fight anywhere, you can keep the man to man physical activity to yourself, in private, where it belongs.

    you are very weird. i never asked you to counter anything, you said he doesnt understand life or the meaning of it, and other such garbage. and now you’re talking about fighting. all this on a website that reviews movies. maybe you should calm down a bit.

    and i dont have to explain any of my comments. i said a movie is shit and thats it. if i was in the business of giving an indepth review then ofcourse i wouldve expanded on my point. but that is not the case.

    lastly ofcourse this place is about expressing opinions. so why did you tell toonstar that he doesnt understand anything and needs to understand life? surely hes just expressing his opinion? so why are you attacking him personally?

    hypocrite much?

    good day.

  14. Hydro Hussla Says:

    Aaron,
    As much as I loved Transformers, can you HONESTLY say its better than the Dark Knight. Come on man!

    Dude, you’re wayyyyyy outta line with Godfather!

    What you doing Sunday?

  15. I Am Number Four DVD Says:

    I’m waiting for you to review I Am Number Four I would very much like to hear you thoughts on this movie


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