Toon’s Review: Why I Refuse to Review ‘Inglourious Basterds’

Funny how I just sat down at Second Cup, and opened up my little laptop to connect to the internet, only to find a wireless network named “All Hail Bear Jew”. Thank you, fellow, for helping me illustrate the point I soon intend to make, hopefully well. Just a disclaimer notice, the man who acts as Jew Bear, Eli Roth, is the mind behind the film ‘Hostel’. Please do look this up… and I do sincerely apologize before-hand for making you see what that movie is about but I’m positive it will also help illustrate my feelings.

I don't want to write a caption.

I really do honestly and purely dislike Quentin Tarantino, from his arrogant movies to his publicity pictures showing him cross-dressing. And if my negative tint is not clear, yes, I do think cross-disgusting is despicable. I’m suppose to be a movie guy, so let me tell you quickly why I have not liked a single Tarantino film. All his films, they are a stage for something he wishes to express. ‘Kill Bill’ was a vehicle for sexuality and acrobatic violence, I’m sure it was derived from his lust of seeing the Matrix do combat so beautifully. He wanted to put his own twisted twist on it, result was those two colloquial pieces of garbage. ‘Pulp Fiction’ was a total hodge podge of incoherent gangster fest, a vehicle for a bunch of actors to play a bunch of over the top characters. ‘Grindhouse’, another prose of just unimaginable amounts of gore and sexuality. Utter stupidity in motion.

So, I approached Inglourious Basterds tentatively. I heard good things, so I was excited at the prospect of enjoying this film. Tarantino is a talented filmmaker, I won’t deny that, but his arrogance is so blatantly obvious and I simply can’t tolerate it. ‘Basterds’ was enjoyable at times, and it was very enjoyable for the parts Christoph Waltz was on screen as the bloody brilliant ‘Jew Hunter’. Great acting, and great character. Until the end,when he decided to suddenly act completely out of character so the Jews could have the ending to World War II that they wanted. Then it struck me, the whole movie, all the characters, all the situations, everything was set up completely for Nazi Bashing. Jew boasting Nazi bashing.

No doubt, the Nazi Bashing was obvious from the get go, the ‘Jew Bear’ hammering in the skull of a Nazi Sergeant elevated my fears that this film was nothing but the Jews stoking their retribution. Nothing but the collective hearts of Jews everywhere screaming with blood drenched fists as they themselves beat the skull of a Nazi in to paste. Surprisingly, the movie lulled on from there with these wonderful characters in a Paris cinema, there stories told patiently, enjoyably and wonderfully scripted… dotted with sublime moments of Christoph Waltz. It was all for nothing however, the movie at its end, dwindled from logic, and became clearly the mind of the Jew Bear himself…

I’d love to know why Hitler was guarded by a wooden door with two typically idiotic soldiers behind him, and not an army of elite soldiers as all forms of logic would suggest… *so we can easily and dramatically get to him so the Jew Bear can machine gun a crowd of movie watchers, then turn to Hitler and pepper him with bullets and show his body be ripped apart by bullets, cross the camera back to Jew Bear and watch him scream and explode with the blood of a million Jews boiling through his veins! Oh bravo! Bravo yee Jewish glory! Oh wonderful revenge! Oh blood oh blood!*

Expect a similar response by such inclined people, to why Christoph Waltz’ incredibly intelligent character made an absurd deal with the king of all Nazi torturers. My dog would’ve guessed that Aldo was not going to honour the deal, and I don’t even have a dog.

‘Inglourious Basterds’ is a great movie that is unbelievably stupid and arrogant. Many great characters were ruined by ridiculous levels of unnecessary violence and complete voids of logic, all this to serve Nazi Bashing by Jew Bears. I don’t give a shit what warrants the allowance of such obvious arrogant trepidations. *We have the right to do what ever the hell we want after what the Nazis did to us*. A comment, which I guarantee has been taken hold of in many more places other than on film. Maybe someone should make a film about a band of pagans, that go on a trip of retribution, slaughtering all the crusaders on their way to the Vatican, where they slam Pope Urban II to his knees and slit his throat. Could be a good storyline for ‘Robin Hood’ reboot.

Right at the end, it all came together to complete this experience… As Brad Pitt uttered Tarantino’s words “You know, this just might be my masterpiece”. You arrogant cross-dressing prick.